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Saturday, 5 July 2008

Fed Up....

Thats me!
I have absolutely no reason to be fed up. The sun is shining, I have a nice life, good health, well mannered (mostly!) children and a partner who works very hard to provide for us and who loves me almost as much as I love him! Which just makes me more fed up at being fed up!!
I'm having a bad 3 year old is being rather challenging (!!) and I am not coping. Put that with a half finished house that would be difficult enough to keep clean if I could find the time to attempt it, a teenager who thinks he's an only child, a 10 yr old with school 'issues' at the moment and a breastfed baby who need just as much attention as the 3 year old, and a partner who goes away monday to work and comes home saturday morning most weeks.....and I feel completely out of my depth.
I'm not writing about this for sympathy !!! I decided to have 4 children, all were planned - and most weeks I thrive on the chaos... I reassure myself that most of you out there have felt like this at times........
I think the problem is I have spent the week losing my patience with, or shouting at a little boy who, yes is acting totally spoilt at the moment, but is well, just being 3, and I feel inadequate for not coping. As being a mum is my only role in life at the moment (as well as chief cook and bottlewasher!!) , it feels poo to be failing at it!
I wish my 'they are only little for a short time' mantra would work for me this week!
I need more me time (a rationed luxury these days!), so in order to free up some evenings next week, I have paid someone to do my holiday ironing! Even this makes me feel inadequate, if I worked I could justify it!!
So hopefully next time I post I may be a bit more positive.
Apologies for a moany pictureless post, I'm off to bed in clean sheets.....that may raise a small smile!!!


Lace Threads said...

Oh, Sweetie, we all feel like that at times. There isn't a mum who doesn't. And then there's the guilt when we know we have a pretty full cup, but something doesn't feel in balance.
I think it's a brilliant idea to offload something - and ironing can be a heck of a chore. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing a fabulous job! x

MaryPoppins said...

I am sure I helped you write your blog on saturday.
I feel like you have many many times and love my children dearly but i have grown to learn they are hard work. I have a 22 month old who doesn't talk lots of pointing at lots of grunting I am teaching him sign language to encourage him and a six year old girl who I would say is a fiesty one a house that needs more than alick of paint and no cooker you may know that lol
We all feel like you sometimes and like lace said youre doing a wonderful job X

Curlew Country said...

Oh what a huge load to cope with, no wonder you feel under the kosh! Try and be a bit easier on yourself, adding beating yourself up to the to-do list is pretty harsh.

I feel just like you do so very often but I've got just two small ones and a husband who works at home. You sound like you're performing a herculean task to me. As long as the kids are loved, clean, fed and safe, somedays that's as much as can be achieved. And to learn that mummy is a human being and not a saint is fine too.

My gorgeoues pair can drive me bonkers sometimes, only the other day "let's make tea together fun" turned into salad being flung all over the floor and mummy disolving into hysterics - and not of the hilarious kind!

They won't remember the things you feel guilty about (least of all who did the iorning - good move btw!). You've all just had a lovely holiday and that's what they'll treasure.

Hope this week eases up for you soon and you get a day off at the weekend when hubby is home. You deserve it!
Stephx (sorry droning on a bit there!)

angel said...

Hiya Honey,

Bless your heart, Mwah

Its so hard being a mum isnt it.
I think you deserve a medal for all the hours and hours of hard work you put in looking after your family, also getting someone in to do the ironing is a brilliant idea could you get someone in to cook the dinner too!!

If i lived near you i would scoot the lot of you off for the day then get down and dirty with the house/cooking/cleaning for you.

Believe me you are doing a fine job with those littluns and i applaud you for being a great Mum. *Clapping*

Bless you Honey,
I will be thinking of you today.

Elaine said...

I hope you're feeling much better now, it's just rotten feeling down (especially if you "think" there's no reason)

Chin up, there's lots of people thinking of (((you)))

Love and blessings

Joanne Brown said...

Hey - you can join my 'inadequate mothers' club!! and I only have 2!. I've been feeling a bit down today, so I guess it's normal for us SAHM's. Nothing to distract us from the day to day stuff. {hugs}. joanne x